Watching Harry Potter don his “cloak of invisibility” made me truly wish I had one. The freedom to walk this planet unseen and, provided no sneezes or hiccups, unheard, is extremely appealing; to be an observer and the proverbial fly-on –the- wall holds a certain fascination for me.
With that said, a recent Opinion piece in the New York Times caught my eye. In it contributing opinion writer, Margaret Renkl, claims the gift of menopause is invisibility and she likes it. She also claims that she was never a “women who turned heads.” I deduced in Margaret’s case that being invisible is based solely on looks and that is why she likes it. While waxing philosophical about insomnia (she can now enjoy sunrises), she has let go of fears and anger and has learned to say “no” to meetings, fundraisers, activities that aren’t important to her. Did it take feeling invisible for to find her voice? I think not. I think that it has much more to with being a confident, self-possessed and, quite frankly, grown-ass woman.
The fact of the matter is that I know a dozen women, all past the age of 50, who whether navigating the throes of menopause or already past it, are seriously getting their groove on. Not only are they NOT invisible, they couldn’t be if they tried. They are traveling the world, calling their own shots and, if you’re like my friend Laura, going out with a new fella (YOUNGER fella) every other night of the week. I would need an extra hand to count the marriage proposals she has received in the last two years (no joke) and, yes, she turned them all down. She’s never been married and certainly has no desire to be so now. She has never needed to be married to feel worth, valued or loved and she has certainly never felt invisible.
The point is you are only invisible if you WANT to be. Ms. Renkl attributed her invisibility to menopause. Insomnia, weight gain, night sweats…DeRosa Medical can help with all of those menopausal symptoms. Where there used to be zero choices to help women through menopause, now there are many. I founded my entire practice on women’s health issues and hormone replacement therapies because I was in full-blown menopause at 35. Trust me, I have NEVER felt invisible. Wearing the invisibility cloak of menopause is a choice. And, while I can’t predict the future, I can assure you I have no intention of becoming invisible and, respectfully, neither should you. You don’t have to go through menopause to find your voice. You don’t have to become “invisible” to find your voice. You just have to embrace the beautiful you that YOU are right now and own it, proudly, because after all, it took you while to get here. I promise you will feel a whole lot better when you do.