While I’m a big “prankster” on April Fool’s Day, as we move toward our next Hormonal Happy Hour — mark your calendars for May 12th — it’s important to tackle this sensitive subject in earnest. It’s interesting that we always joke and laugh about libido and sexuality, but it is a huge part of what makes couples, couples. It’s the intimate connection that drives us together; otherwise you would just have friendships. Sex and libido, desire and drive are important and serious topics… with equally serious consequences if not treated appropriately.
Let’s take a look at women in their 30’s and 40’s. We often blame stress and kids and everything else in our lives to explain away a decrease in intimacy and a lack of desire, but this is also a time when our testosterone levels are dropping. The consequence? As women, we often equate desire with being “in love” with our partner. If we’re not feeling the desire, we may begin to question the relationship. If the desire drought continues, we start thinking the relationship is doomed, over, dead. We begin applying a relationship explanation / solution to what could very likely be a hormonal issue.
Simultaneously, for men, intimacy is how they connect to us biologically and how they stay bonded to us. So, when we’re no longer being intimate the men also start to pull away. You can see how this can be a recipe for disaster, possibly leading to affairs and break ups of otherwise healthy, solid marriages and relationships.
So, how do you know if your libido may need some expert attention or hormonal help? Where do you start?
As you already know whether you are female or male, married or single, gay or straight — women are very, very complex creatures. So when we look at libido, we do have to look at the relationship and psychosocial issues. It’s all part of the equation. We have to evaluate stress, environment, as well as the impact of kids, the never ending “to do list” and more. Once we are able to get beyond all of the everyday items, it’s time to delve into other hormonal symptoms. For instance, if — in addition to low libido — you are also experiencing weight gain, fatigue, memory issues, and feeling kind of “blah”… then it’s most likely a hormonal issue that could — and should — be actively treated.
There are also many natural, D-I-Y approaches to stimulating both our own libido and / or our partners. Proper exercise and diet — in and of itself — can raise endorphins. This helps. Eating proper food and maintaining proper weight can also help us eliminate those “body images” that steal our sexual freedom. Ready for more good news? Foods like chocolate, oysters, and champagne have all been known to raise libido. Of course intimacy and exhaustion don’t make great companions, so keeping our energy up can be very helpful. Take in plenty of B12 and Vitamin D by adding good quality supplements to your daily routine.
Recognize any of these signs or symptoms? Call our office for an appointment: 480.619.4097